Chapter 1: Love?

Thinking to myself

“Love, I will never fall in your arms….again! You have taken my heart and abused it… too many times and now my heart belongs to me. You have also pierced through my soul…you have drained me to the lowest denominator. I cannot tolerate your lies and deceit. I thought love was kind… it does not envy… it does not boast… isn’t that what the good book (Bible) say? I fall in love once… I am left questioning… was I in love in the first place?.... What is love?... I do not believe I experienced… this thing called love…”

To me love is where you put someone before yourself…

I use to believe that the past relationships I have experienced was love. I think I was caught up… in a teenage love affair.. HA! Silly me… I was just another victim in one of Love’s Games. Love blinded me with his good looks and his terrible line of “I love you… and I will NEVER hurt you”.  You cannot get me this time Love… I will build an emotional wall of bitterness so you cannot break me down.

My last long relationship was… senior year of high school… terrible ending to that relationship… so I became bitter and took a break from Love.

I dated a guy sophomore year of college… I dropped him 5 days later…

I let a guy take me out on a date or two… I didn’t answer his phone calls or text messages..

I turned into a heartbreaker… Why fall in love when you can play the same game in reverse?

2 years later…

I bettered myself… I re-evaluated myself… I matured… I blossomed…

I even took down that emotional wall…

Gave Love another opportunity…

So… my bestie invited me to poetry nights at Starbucks with her. I am glad I decided to go. I’ve been hiding from the world lately so I was long overdue for a night out with my girlies! .. *fast forward*

We arrived to Starbucks… I was diggin’ it. The poetry was dope and the art was dope…. WAIT… who is this?... Hmm… he is cute… *thought to myself without showing this sense of being interested on my face*

I saw Love for the first time… but… I was too shy to approach him…

So like my stubborn self.. I acted like he didn’t exist and did not speak at all..

Next day..

Went back to my normal life… studying… church… chilling…repeat…

A week later…

I was leaving the library… and I saw Love’s face again…

Love speaks.. HEYY! How are you guys?

My friend and I spoke: Hey! We are good!

The conversation was not long… just a little catching up here and there…

I left with Love on my mind… sigh… FOCUS JAMIE FOCUS…

The next weekend..

My bestie and I went to the movies…

Yes you guessed it… Love was there… but… WAIT who is she??? 

*heart dropped* obviously that is Love’s girlfriend…

Love saws us and said : HEY! We just keep bumping into each other!

I said: Yep! Lol *laughed off my sadness of finding out that Love was currently off the market*

Once again the conversation was not long at all… we both had to get to our movie so.. we kept it short.

*sigh* And ironically Love was still imprinted on my mind... 

(To be Continued...)